Tuesday, March 02, 2010
You know that girl, the one that in high school you looked at and admired from afar. The one you envied. The one you wanted to be like. The one that had everything. She had the right clothes, the good hair, cute boyfriend, designer purses, nice car. She was thin. Perfect. In your eyes any way. "That girl". There was one in college, too. The one with good grades, cute boyfriend, tons of friends. And even now, I see "that girl" with the perfect hair, great figure, cute kids that walked out of a Gap ad, nice car, huge house in the perfect neighborhood on the best street. Do you ever wonder what happened to that girl? I don't know why but, I ran into "that girl" from my college years last month. The one that was so perfect. So, I thought. I saw her and I almost did not recognize her. She was about 20 pounds heavier. She had her hair pulled up in a pony tail. She barely had any makeup on. She had on jeans and a T-shirt. And her two kids were by her side fighting for her attention. She looked so different. Not at all like "that girl" I remembered. She looked... like me. A girl who had gained weight, didn't have time to do her hair maybe because she was rushing to get out the door with her kids in tow. She only had time to put on jeans and a shirt because it was all that was clean or maybe it was the only thing that fit. It made me feel as horrible as it sounds happpy. Happy to know that, that girl is normal. Made me feel more normal. It happens to us all. Life. Even to that girl. Just today I saw "that girl" from high school. She was the head cheerleader at another high school than the one that I went to. She went to my church growing up. She was skinny, athletic, gorgeous. Everyone loved her!! She was in my eyes perfect! Well, today I saw her. About 20 pounds heavier. Hair a mess. Wearing glasses. No makeup. T-shirt and wrinkled jeans. Not that girl I remembered. And she was standing in line in front of me at Weight Watchers. Again, I almost did not recognize her. Wow! Like the girl I told you about before and now the one I saw today, I could not stop staring. They are so different now. So different from the girls that I had given so much time and energy envying before. All this when here lately I have been looking (not liking) at myself in the mirror. Looking at this girl (me) now and thinking of the girl I used to be. Wanting to look and feel like the girl I was. Thinking of how I want to also be like that girl. The one with everything. But, seeing them again. Now we are more the same than different. Weird. How things change. How people change. Did God reveal these girls from my past to me this last month for a reason? I don't know. Seeing them has definitely made me think about things. Like I need to be happy just being me. The way I am. The way God made me. I do have everything that girl has and maybe more. I have a husband that adores me, a family that loves me, caring loyal friends, a roof over my head, food to eat (too much), a warm bed, two healthy, smart, wonderfully silly boys, a car to get me where I need to go. I have all I could ask for. Hey, maybe I am that girl. A lucky girl. Blessed. I just didn't see it before. Or maybe I forgot. Thank you God for those little glimpses and big reminders.